How to keep your life in balance

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If you take a proactive approach to life, chances are you're fairly aware of your personal needs. People who work for themselves, manage their own timetables or simply aim to squeeze the most out of each moment in life tend to have the ability to consciously keep their lives in balance. What's their secret? In this post I will discuss some ways to train your mind so you can keep your life in balance without needing to think about it.

The Hierarchy of Needs

Perhaps you've heard of psychologist Abraham Maslow's 'hierarchy of needs'. If not, don't worry, the concept is pretty simple. As humans we have a wide variety of needs, some of which are more important than others. Looking at the hierarchy of needs as a pyramid, we would put our most important physiological needs at the bottom, such as breathing, food, water, sleep, excretion and sex. If our physiological needs are adequately taken care of, we concern ourselves with looking out for our safety. This can mean security of our own bodies, financial security, health, family and property.

As we take care of each level of needs, our human nature leads us to pursue higher needs, culminating in self-actualisation such as creativity, learning and spontaneity. If at any time one of the lower needs becomes important, such as health, our focus immediately moves there until the balance can be restored.

Our bodies are amazingly attuned to our needs and work with our subconscious to bring them to our attention in a variety of ways. The problem is, we quite literally never know what our subconscious is thinking. It will faithfully and automatically work to whatever program it is set to, but while it remains subconscious we have no idea what that program is and it could be working at cross purposes to our conscious desires.

The secret to taking control of your life is to raise your level of awareness out of the subconscious and into our conscious minds. Only by becoming consciously aware of our programming can we change it. If you consciously program what is important to you in life, eventually your subconscious will take the hint and follow your lead. Once that happens, you'll find life has a way of making sure your needs are taken care of even when you're not thinking about it.

Going with your gut

Most people don't have much experience with training the mind, so it may not come easily at first. Every now and then most of us have days when we have the feeling that everything is perfectly aligned and locking neatly into place, but most of the time we're too busy living life to reflect on the big picture. That's because we're busy attending to the many needs we have at different levels of the pyramid. Because of this, many people distrust using their head and prefer to leave things to intuition. They figure their gut has a better instinct for what to do than they do.

The 'gut instinct' approach is reasonable, and I personally make almost all my decision based on intuition or 'gut feeling', but that's because I'm confident that my gut is on the same page as I am. Have you ever had a friend you thought you knew well but who suddenly surprised you one day with something they said or did? Have you ever worked enthusiastically with a colleague only to find later on that your goals are very different? It's easy to assume you know what motivates someone, but sometimes you can be way off the mark. Do you know what motivates your gut?

Do you have a best friend who knows you inside-out? In times of need, your best friends will know exactly what to do without being asked. People who don't know you so well will often try to help but end up saying or doing the wrong thing. How well do you and your gut know each other?

Next time you have one of those days when everything becomes crystal clear, take the time to stop and reflect for a while. What does the big picture of your life look like? Could you draw it like a pyramid of needs? Think about the things that are important to you and write them down! It's important to write ideas down because that's how you train your subconscious. If you just keep things in your head you'll forget about them. When you take the time to share your thoughts by writing them down, you drag your whole self along for the ride, subconscious and all. It's at times like this that you really get to know yourself.

Minding your own business

A good way to train your mind to think consciously is to imagine someone standing behind you watching over your shoulder and giving a running commentary of what you're doing. Imagine you are somebody else who is meeting you for the first time. What would be their first impressions? What personality traits would they pick up on? Be honest.

One of the reasons people leave decisions to their gut is that they can never make up their mind about something. If you find yourself in two minds, why not talk to both of them? Separating ideas and dealing with them individually can be a great help in making conscious decisions. Visualise your two minds as if they were each a separate person. What would each one look like? Is one tall and confident? Nervous and gloomy? Is one the voice of a little child who wants to play? Take the time to listen to each of your voices and hear what they have to say.

Some people say talking to yourself is the first sign of madness. Others say it's the only way to be sure of having an intelligent conversation. I often talk to myself while driving or in the shower. I take the role of an impartial observer and listen to what I have to say. If I'm in two or more minds about something I'll let them debate. Sometimes the things I hear myself say can be quite surprising. By talking things out rather than just thinking, once again you are sharing ideas and becoming more attuned with your subconscious self.

The freer the market, the freer the people

If you believe in letting the market decide the value of something, consider this. The best selling computer game of all time is The Sims. This is a game where you have total control over the intricate details of a fictional person's life. A big part of looking after your 'Sim' is taking care of its needs, which are handily represented by a chart of coloured sliders. These needs are uncannily similar to the ones in Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

To have the ability to consciously control the factors which affect someone's wellbeing is obviously appealing. Watching your Sim relax while socialising or building them a stylish new house with decor that improves their self-esteem is quite compelling. Is this really any different to being the imaginary person who watches over your shoulder and whispers advice in your ear?

After you've played The Sims for a while you get to know how to look after your Sims. You can attend to their needs automatically and spend more energy focussing on other parts of the game. If you can train yourself to be instinctively aware of your Sim's needs and how to meet them, why not do the same thing for yourself? You might find a more balanced life is just around the corner.

What are some ways you keep your life in balance? Feel free to comment below!